Friday, September 18, 2009

Yeah- I Posted Again.

It's getting late. My boy is at work. Apparently he will be there pretty late this time.  For some reason I really miss him. We got in another fight this morning because I got bothered with him playing video games.  Yes, he's a gamer. WoW, Warhammer, and now Aion (which I wont lie, is an AWESOME game.) I like to play these games too, so I guess it's hypocritical of me to be upset with him for playing it.  But here's the deal. It's not even out yet and I barely see him. Or so it feels. Maybe I'm just needy. That's totally possible.

It starts this Sunday...I'm terrified that I won't ever see him. Granted, he does play here at the apartment on his computer... But I don't get to hang out with him. I can just watch. One of these days I'll have a computer that can run the game (my lappy would explode if I tried playing it here) and we can play together, which will be nice... I guess I'll have to be patient til I can afford such a luxury.  I just miss him. My favorite thing in the world is to hang out with him, hold his hand, walk around with him.  I love him. When we're apart, I get so sad. I think that's part of my depression. I don't feel like he's here with me when he's doing "guild stuff."

I've brought it up with him... His conclusion is saying he'll never game again... Which I can't ask him to do that. Gaming is all he has. It's all he does, and that's where his friends are. I'd feel horrible taking his life away from him. I said, I like gaming too. I just wish we could have least one hour a day where it's just us. No forum checking. No Vent in the background. No Yahoo Messenger dinging. No cell phones. No nothing. Just he and I. But I don't think he understands that.  Oh well.  You can't have everything in the world, right?

I have a kitten, Lady.  She cracks me up. She is my light in the darkness. I have never had a pet that I truly had to take care of entirely on my own.  She's my baby.  My parents let me have her when I moved out. Granted she's a handful, but she's something I can count on to come to me when I'm sad, hair-tie in mouth, ready to do something so incredibly cute that I can't help but smile at. She's an inbred-inbred (thank you Linds) and one of my best friends.  She's stretched out right next to me, like this:

Ha, as I type this, she watches the words move.  Its comforting to have a baby like her. She doesn't care when I'm upset. She'll come to me anyway. She sleeps on me every night, even though I kick her off sometimes.  She's in my face purring if I lay down. I love her to death.


Tried to change the subject... Epic fail. I miss him. I know it's stupid to miss someone when they're only gone for a few hours, when you spend all your time with them. But I do. I'm so lonely right now. I don't even have any desire to do anything. I don't know why. I'm used to being on my own. Taking care of myself. Thinking for my self. But now, I don't. He's my life.  I wish he knew this. I wish he'd write too. I wish I could show all of you how happy he really makes me...But what do I know? Maybe no one reads this. Maybe no one cares. Oh well, it makes me feel better to write it.
I love you baby. I love you so much.

Just let it be, come on and bring your body next to me,
I’ll take you away, hey, turn this place into our private getaway,

So leave it behind ’cause we, have a night to get away,
So come on and fly with me, as we make our great escape.
So baby don’t worry, you are my only,
You won’t be lonely, even if the sky is falling down,
You’ll be my only, no need to worry,
Baby are you down down down down down,
Down, Down,
Baby are you down down down down down,
Down, Down,
Even if the sky is falling down,


Pink is on the music channel right now. Well, her video anyway. I really like her. I like how she's real with her verses. I think she's a fantastic artist. But that's just my two cents.

I might be done posting tonight. I might not. Who knows. I sure don't. I missed writing out my life. I missed it a lot.

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